Understanding Loneliness

Helping hurting women

Loneliness is defined in the dictionary as sadness resulting from isolation or lack of

companionship. Yet, isn’t it interesting that many women feel lonely even when they

are not alone? That's because isolation often comes from something other than the

absence of people. 

Even though there is loneliness due to lack of family and friends, more often than not, loneliness is a state of the heart. Loneliness
occurs when a woman feels there is no one in her life who is truly like minded with whom she as able to connect. This is the deeper issue of the heart for a lonely person. 

Because true heart connections can remain so elusive even when surrounded by community, lonely women often seek to fill this void with vain comforts. Sadly, these vain comforts often leave the heart feeling twice as empty and twice as isolated. 

These temporary comforts can be anything from watching romantic movies and eating chocolates or ice cream to more harmful behaviors such as drug and alcohol use or unhealthy physical encounters. This is the nature of the human spirit: When there is a demand (the gap of loneliness), we seek to supply it -- often with a substitute companionship that offers temporary comfort.

The human heart, as Scripture tells us, is a tricky and can easily deceive itself. In the Christian community, women must take heed because in a very similar way we are often compelled to fill this loneliness with pious activities and all the right things to do. Yet, binges of Christian programs and filling our plates with religious services will not reach the recesses of loneliness. Even though some of these things are good--pursuit of these things will often propel us even further into discouragement and isolation if we haven't dealt first with the root cause of loneliness. 

There is only one way to see this lonely state of the heart, and that is to see it as a blessing in disguise. Loneliness may be a divine opportunity God has allowed in our lives to draw us into a deeper level with Him. Christ is the only fountain that can fill our lonely and thirsty souls in a way that doesn't keep it aching and unfulfilled. Clear your schedule of any vain comforts for the moment and ask the Lord to reveal His purpose for you in this season of loneliness.

Recognizing our efforts to fill the void of loneliness with broken or empty cisterns is the beginning process and a good starting point. He may be removing unwanted distractions on His path for you. When we realize the futility of our efforts, we are drawn to the living well of water. It is here at the well the lonely heart will thrive finding its truest companionship, as well as others who are like minded.