Many women suffer silently and alone, feeling at a loss because of their husband’s addiction to pornography. Sometimes this problem is discovered by a wife who is suspicious due to unusual behavior by her husband; other times there is a confession involved. Whatever the case, shock and confusion usually follow.
Yes, it is the husband who has the struggle, but it becomes the wife’s struggle too, as she laments inwardly...desperately trying to handle it on her own. Many times the wife feels too ashamed or embarrassed to get the counsel that is needed.
If this is your story and you have found yourself feeling disillusioned, wishing you were not in this trial--it is normal. There are many emotions such as grieving the loss of what you thought was your reality that are necessary to express. As a wife you are in need of consolation and direction. Most importantly connecting to the One who can put perspective on such a great violation to your marriage needs to take priority - God can give you the strength and direction you will need.
Wives who are in this situation need to know, firstly, they are not alone. A Focus on the Family report showed that in the year 2000, 63 percent of men attending the “Men, Romance & Integrity Seminars” admitted to struggling with porn that very year. Two-thirds (66 percent) were in church leadership, and 10 percent were pastors. Also, one in seven calls that currently come into the Focus on the Family’s Pastoral Care hotline is about Internet pornography.
Secondly, wives need to now that there is hope! In Christ, this form of captivity can be broken. Husbands may need to undergo counseling, and they will definitely need accountability with other Christian men, but change is possible.
Understanding Husband's Pornography Struggle